This new T-Mobile commercial has been running for a few weeks now, featuring what appears to be (a curmudgeonly male with a newspaper and a hippie-looking female) an elderly Dharma and Greg. He bitches about changing mobile carriers with a few illogical and clearly antagonistic remarks, and she addresses each one with a fact regarding their life together. Today, though, I'd like to focus on this particular part of the exchange:
Husband: Great, another contract. You know I hate commitment.
Wife: We've been married forty years.
H: Thirty-eight. What if I want some variety?
W: We've had eleven bulldogs, all named 'Steve.'
Let me see if I've got this straight. Eleven bulldogs in thirty-eight years?
/does some math in head...
What are you doing to these dogs?!
Even if we add on an extra two years--however unlikely it is that these two even lived together before they were married, much less owned a dog together--to make it an even forty, that's still an average of less than four years per dog. If every bulldog has been named Steve, that pretty much rules out the possibility of having more than one at a time. The average life span for a bulldog is 8-12 years. Thus, it would appear that this seemingly stable couple--who were able to successfully raise children into their adulthood, as evidenced in the ad's opening line--cannot keep a dog alive even for half of its natural average life cycle.
And so, I repeat: What are you doing to these dogs?! Are you simply substandard pet owners? Are you tossing these dogs into traffic for fun? Is there some kind of severely hazardous environment in or around your home, and you're just so involved in your own pseudo-clever conversations that you keep allowing innocent animals to perish? Or are you running a goddamn bulldog slaugherhouse?!
I demand an investigation! Demand it!
3 comments:
I never even picked up on the bulldog thing because this commercial makes me want to kill myself. Is the whole "marriage sucks and will drain the life force from you, run away!" thing still funny? Haven't enough sitcoms beaten that horse so badly that it's turned to glue?
Nice catch though.
...simply amazing!!!
Ha! I haven't seen this commercial. However, me & the pseudo-Mr. did have a number of budgies, simultaneous and overlapping, that were all called Kosch. So, it's faintly possible that this is the case with bulldogs named Steve. However, it seems unlikely given that these people don't seem like the type who are creative or ironic enough to do that. More likely, they're yuppies and they got bored with them once they got past the "cute puppy/cute young dog" stage and dropped them off at the shelter before getting a new one.
I hate yuppies. And commercial advertising.
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